2009 Blizzard

Well we had our first blizzard and the wolves just love it. They slept out on the top of their dens, warm and cozy while we stay cozy inside. It is only 8 degrees and my bones ache from the cold. I shoveled paths yesterday to the kennels to feed them. Now I have to do it all over again. We got a foot of snow but all is well. The chickens are OK too. It's still spitting snow now but the weatherman promised sunshine tomorrow.

Snow Flakes in December

Today we saw snowflakes, spiraling down so softly but for a fleeting moment! The Sun crept out and broke apart the cold winter clouds. It was a beautiful view to behold and take in. Yes today is a good day to be alive. Dogs are all asleep, while the wolves set pace in anticipation of yet another winter to frolic in! Their favorite time of year. They sleep in the deep snow of a blizzard going through, never giving notice to chill. Their nose gently tucked in by their tail. As November was a very warm month, I would imagine December will make up for it. Thinking there might be a green Christmas! Isn't my choice mind you, Christmas just isn't without snow. I been loading up pictures from my computer and printing ones that I think the kids might like to have. They are always giving me pictures of the family, so now I must return the favor so they also have some of the same memories I have.... oh the time it musters such thoughts....silver bells, sleigh rides, movies, stories, shopping, baking, and all the happy chatter that goes with it. May all your dreams come true to the heart....

Up so early!

Getting up early like 4:30 is for the dogs as they are the ones that forgot about daylight savings time and still like to follow that schedule.
As I sit in the light of my lamp and write I wonder how life was meant to be before we discovered these last centuries and all the races to get to the top of a meaningless hill. As men become more aggressive and women get more resistant, more divorces, more STD's and more cancers. Where were we when all this was going on before? Oh yeah we just dropped dead and that was the end of it! Now we pay outrageous money to find out nothing is wrong except that we are getting old! So many pills for this and that and then some for sideaffects of others. All those chemicals can't be good. I got off 4 this year and I feel alive and active. Lost 60 pounds so far! After 7 years of idleness there is something that has awakened me. My writing is coming back and I stay awake for at leat 8 hours!

Hoidays

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on life and family.
My times with friends and family have been my smiles on my face and heart. The gathering of souls to celebrate life and health and or course a lot of food! I think about the pilgrims as I was raise to learn about them as a child in school. We cut out our turkeys that we so carefully colored and put them on the refrigerator! I think of what I am thankful for and here is my list.
Thank you that I feel pain in my legs and feet. Others aren't so lucky as they have no legs.
Thank you for letting me use my mind. As I learned about strokes through experience I am thankful that somethings I forget. Some things are best forgotten they say!
I am thankful for my Partner Cindy, My life would not be so wonderful without out her. Thanks for 12 years so far! Double or nothing?Others are alone and some are happy that way.
I am thankful for my children, they are happy and have children. And the life cycle goes round and round. The kids turned out better than me, so they learned to improve on something good and made excellent choices.
I am thankful for life and the journey that the Spirit in the Sky has given me, I am sure there will be explanations when I get to heaven every time I asked "WHY?"
We can only take one day at a time as we are in the moment. My friends and family comfort me in the last years. Soon oh soon, time will move to the answers in our hearts!

Winter is just around the corner!

Well, folks, won't be long and all this wet cold rain with yellow glows of leaves fallen to the ground, leads us to winter. Not looking forward to it. I would like to add this picture, a view of fall. But let us not forget the winter scene of snow carpeting the earth around us. The earth is cleansed of her regrets and is renewed with the purity of whiteness. Too bad it couldn't be a little warmer! As we harvest the land in fall, reaping her bounty, we store our food like squirrels gather their nuts. We prepare for the isolation of winter, scurry to secure our connections to another and prepare for the worst storm of the year! Do you have the snow shovels ready?

Taima will be missed at Howling Pines

Our first loss at Howling Pines.

Taima was the first to be named in the litter that was born April 20, 2000, the only one who had to have treatment as a puppy by a vet. He was a eager player and loved to run and play. His partner Yuma will surely miss him. He was a gentle soul and was never agressive towards me. Not even once! Yuma stood his ground to protect his brother but the sadness of his passing put a forlorn howl that we all understand.

Taima was autopsied for our understanding as we were in shock and had no forwarning that this was upon us. The results were that he had "twisted his stomach" and was in much pain and it is common in animals with large cavities.

Knowing what killed him was better than not knowing. It is our first loss and it is very painful. I just don't know what else to say. I watched the whole episode and was unable to give him any comfort.

Patiently I wait for relief

Well we have a subject that is dear to my heart. Back to health care. I have found that going to the doctor every 6 months like clock work, only fills the wallet of organized health workers and insurance companies. This March I woke up from a madness in my mind and decided to do something about my weight. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror! I researched the medications I was on. All those side affects were frightening! So I told my doctor I wanted off the medications that made me gain weight. He laughed and said "stop eating so much and move." Kind of a direct suggestion. Of course I was irritated with the remark as I was 100 pounds overweight thanks to a stroke and brain misfiring all the time I sat for many years. All my life I was a busy body, working many hours in factories and never thinking much about food. Well that story changed after being disabled and set aside as no longer viable labor. Oh yeah I was forgetful, burned a few boiling eggs mind you that landed on the ceiling!
But I trudged on and looked up natural herbs for my issues of pain. I found many to my dismay that falsely advertised and charged outrageous prices. I had given up on pain pills a few years ago, they just made me sick. I was angry at the doctor for letting me gain all this weight and never challenging me to do something. He took my off the Aricept and Namenda for Alzheimer's. Said it might be worse for me than good as I was at that "Agitated" mode.
Oh I watched the whole year of Biggest Loser last year and it just haunted me that those people weren't much bigger on the scale then me. I began to hate myself. Thinking it was hopeless. This spring I talked to my cousin. He gave me great advice. Smoke marijuana for your pain and brain! I of course laughed at him as I haven't smoked in so many years. But I went on line and found profound information about Marijuana for Alzheimer patients and discovered that it actually helps those with dementia. I of course had that printed. Then I found more things such as Marijuana for pain. I PRINTED THAT TOO. Having lived a very active life on my feet, my fond memories of running for miles for the sheer joy was very much buried in the past. Well when you get to be my age all those wonderful games of softball, track, rugby, horseback riding etc all show their ugly head by giving me pain in my old age. Having broke my back also about 20 some years ago, surgeries on my knee 3 x and both my feet operated on, I have been depressed for many years and living inside my shell.
Well, I found out about the Michigan Medical Marijuana Program and went to the doctor with my papers. He couldn't sign because he was part of a big health center and told me where I could go. He said I qualify and I should check it out. I did. I smoked for a month and returned.
I returned to my heart doctor after a month, my blood pressure was so low he took me off the medication which by the way has a side affect of gaining weight. I then went to my regular appointment with my doctor and I had already lost 10 pounds! So much for the munchies it doesn't have that affect on me!
Well that was in April, I have now reached my half-way mark. I have lost 50 pounds folks. On sheer willpower and a good neighbor who was looking for some one to walk with, I set out every day this summer when it wasn't raining or storming and walked the country block. 8 Am I am on the road. That measured out to 2.5 miles. Every morning I get up and put my knee braces on, smoke a little in my vaporizer and walk. My friend has Fibromayalgia so she is also in pain but walks on those days that she can. We get home we scream for relief and smoke some then too.
We share pain but also hope. We share our shortcomings and triumph on those things we have conquered. This is a milestone for me to talk about it on a public blog but I don't care at this point if there are people who disapprove of my pain management. My daily walks with the Creator in the countryside has brought comfort and dignity back into my self worth. God has surely seen where I have been.
So for pain and brain my world is looking up. I have regained my ease to write again and be productive in a limited way but at least I am a human being again.
I go back to the doctor (6 months is up!) in a few weeks, and I think he will have a story to share with his partners. Now what else can I do?
I am joining the Kalamazoo Compassion Club and I am going to get back into the saddle and see if I can't work for a "Cause" that fits my lifestyle. I am not suggesting everyone join in but please say prayers for those that are giving up their pills for herbs. It is hard to turn the corner and find yourself at a dead end. I think I just jumped the wall! By the way I have my Michigan Medical Marihuana Card so I am legal folks. I would Never Break the Law! They would have to send me to Amsterdam!
Peace and Love everyone, just Imagine!

Fall is upon us soon!

Yes the leaves are a changing and its almost upon us that dreaded winter winds with snow piling up. I read the news today and oh boy! I think this issue with Health Care is going to really take off this time. At least I am hoping. I notice a lot of self-righteous beings are protesting it. Looks like it's going to be another divided party bill. But thank God we have the majority that want to fix this healing thing for all. The health care reform must go on to becoming a reality. We voted for "Change" so we must also support the change. We can't sit in the past century, we must find a way to give all humans health care. Shame on us for not having it. America was the land that everyone wanted to put their dreams to reality. Now is the time to unite and support our Government for the driver is now a new beginning. Stop the racism, stop and listen~ don't turn away from the one who is standing for us all.

Our Pug Oakley

Meet Oakley, our pug, he is now a year old.
Moxie our boxer would have nothing to do with another dog until we got Oakley. Oh my Gosh it was like a mother and her pup for a few months.
The fact that Oakley is a male might have something to do with Moxie's acceptance of him. They play all the time and take lots of naps together. Oakley has a mind of his own most of the time but he is housebroke and sleeps thru the night. Those are important you know!
With a face like that, how can you not take it home?

Meet Moxie the Boxie

Moxie the Boxie, has been our inside companion for many years and grew up with the wolves. Asher and Yawa were just one year old when we adopted Moxie at 4 weeks old. Asher and Yawa got along with her as she was a puppy and the parenting instincts kicked in. They were gentle and had no aggressive behavior. We never left Moxie alone with them. We were watchful. As Moxie grew up playing with wolves for her first year it was fun watching the wolves lay down to let her chew on them.
When the wolves had their own litter we stopped allowing Moxie in the kennel with the wolves. The wolves were allowed to raise their young with limited handling by humans. We were curious to see what a wolf's manners would be if it we did that. I can truly say they are more wolf than their own parents!
As the wolves howl a lot, Moxie has learned to howl with them. Her howl is not quite up to par with the wolves but it is amusing to listen to. In turn she barks at the slightest noise and gets the wolves a howling thinking someone is approaching their territory. It is amazing how a dog raised with wolves has communication with each other. I do have a story that was most terrifying to go through for another day. That lesson taught us to always be watchful as a wolf.

Women are all the same

Caught your eye on this one? Well, normally you would think I was talking about humans but I am not! With our pack at Howling Pines, we have 5 males and 3 females. The wolves are all related except Takota the "adopted" one and of course Yawa and Asher came from different dens. When all eight wolves were together many years ago, they ran rampent thru the doorways to adjoining kennels. The game was to chase one as if it was the target(imitatiing they are a deer I suppose), and the rest joined in the chase and kocking each other down to get to the throat of a sibling that was in the lead. Sounds familiar to children in a household doesn't it? Then the captured wolf who ends up on its back submittingly gives up as its siblings are nipping at its tail and legs. It's all in fun mind you but well there are times I have seen this turn into a scrap or two. Well eventually the pack got a little too wild and Takota our adopted female, who is 73% wolf and 27% Malamute, got a rip on her hip and it took a few stitches and cost a few dollars. So we gave Takota her own run. She at one time was the babysitter for the pups. But her small amount of dog in her genetics gave her mannerisms of a dog when we tried to train her. She is still a wild girl but we have been able to tame her enough to be social with people and the car ride to the vet.

Here is Takota, in the picture.

You know how women fight? Well, in the pack that also happens. Weeko our "Little Girl" as her name means, is in her own kennel. She also has no respect for other females and would rather kill them then get along during mating season. Even tho all the wolves have now been sterilized, they still fight with other females to rule the roost. Weeko still challenges her mother thru the fence that separates them. You would be surprised how much hatred they have for each other. Sound familiar? I suppose all daughters must rear up and let mothers know they are grown and have their own ideas on what is right for them.

As a mother and a grandmother, life has shown me that we can live together for a while, but ultimately we make our own home. As I watched my daughter grow up, I was warning her all the time about life, now that she is all grown up it is her turn to pass on the wisdom and warnings of life to her daughter.

My days as a mother are unending, however my place in the pack is no longer as ruler. It is now my pleasure to watch my young raise their young. It is as if I can only see a glimmer of all the light that shines in them. I must wait for a visi,t for then the pleasure of their busy lives are shared with me. It is in their time and moment that life stands still.

The healthcare system as we know it

So this is more my personal view on health care. I come from a nation that provided health care to all its citizens after World War II. That would be the Netherlands. They understood poverty and understood what sharing was all about. As one nation pulled back together it created the fundamental right of each of its citizens to be treated with dignity and respect and be taken care of by any doctor that was available. It has been a system that still stands. I don't see the citizens complaining.

Can America afford not to follow some sort of health care program that does not discriminate against its poor?

And what about Alternatives to all those pain pills on the streets! Kids are taking them from home and sharing stuff we don't even know what the affects are 20 years from now! I personally was on some blood pressure medicine for 10 years! The side affect is you gain weight. Where is the logic of giving someone with heart problems something that makes them gain weight? So 100 pounds later~ I woke up and said what has happened? I took my body in my own hands and went for alternative herbs. My blood pressure is now so low, I don't need those pills and I have lost 40 lbs. What does that say about taking life in your own hands? I put my knee braces on and walk with pain. But heck no pain no gain? Right?

I am thinking as I am treated with a lousy 5 minutes for $85 doctor appointment. How much is that after a full load of patients? Can't they put doctors on a Salary? If government can put a stake in the car industry, it sure had better put a stake in health care for our future will not be able to handle all the baby boomers.

So much to say and yet I don't have all the information to argue a point about health care. Having been a very good customer of the health care field I only have my own issues with it. I know I paid for a few vacations for someone. I know there were operations that could have been avoided. Nothing like a doctor botching your knee up for life.

I suffer from Dementia. So I tend to forget priorities. I move on the moment. Can you be that free? Today I found out I left the stove on all night since noon yesterday. Luckily I had opened the windows for air. It's another day in Paradise! I am alive~!

Running the Last Mile!

Oh yeah, you think that it strange to see a picture of the snow in winter. Well here in Michigan the leaves start turning you think of snow. It's just a habit. August the last hot month of the year and we spiral down to the earth and stay captive in our homes. I plan on riding my motorcycle until the first snow. I haven't ridden much this year compared to other years. Perhaps I am settling down to my home at Howling Pines and no longer yearn for the wide open road.

Can you see the wolves? They love the snow. It is their favorite time of the year. They are more active and of course its mating season. Do not humans also get a bit frisky at mating time? We see so many common traits from humans that must have originated from the imitation of animals.

I walked another round of road. My journey takes the weight off my mind. So much to think about and no time to respond.

Living the good life

It's been a cool summer and now that it is August the heat has arrived. Life is good, I can't complain. I went for a short motorcycle ride yesterday to pick up some Baking Powder for the zucchini bread. Turned out good.

So what do you think about Obama and his health care plan? I would like to see the bill pass and change up the whole health care system. Too many people out of work with no health care are suffering. Why should the common people who work hard to survive be kept out of the loop?

The wolves have lost all their shedding and are growing new winter coats. As they age I realize how precious the time has been with them. My time with the wolves has kept me focused and given me purpose. I don't know how the future will take me.

Summer is almost over and school is almost ready to open the doors to all the children of the world. I miss that job I had driving a school bus. Now that was an adventure!~ all those kids and no one to answer to but traffic. I miss the little giggles and laughter of little kids. All those new lunch buckets and new clothes to show off. All those little legs rushing to the bus stop not wanting to be late and miss the bus.

It's a quiet evening with the sun settling down behind the pines. We don't see a sunset here as our woods are too overgrown to enjoy it, but if you get up early you can enjoy the same view from the east.

Yawa my alpha female

This is my buddy Yawa. She is the alpha female and the best representation of a friendly wolf! NO she won't eat you! She will lick you till you can't breathe and yeah she will take an earring out if it's a diamond! I have three diamonds in the kennel somewhere! I gave up on those little buggers as Yawa is attracted to them and has a way of nibbling them off your ear in a split second. They teach you quickly that material things are not important, its the greeting and all the games they play that count. Of course you don't want to try playing games when they are eating. That is a whole other ritual.

And the Rain Came!

And the rain finally came and saturated the much needed fields.

The wolves walked around while it stormed and poured like buckets! The got a much needed bath. Did you know that wolves don't smell hardly at all? You know how a dog smells when it gets a good soaking! Well not a wolf, they have a totally different reaction to rain. When the down pour came this morning and continued for hours the pack patiently stood out in the rain. I used to think this was odd as our socialized canines rather scurry for cover as if they are humans. I know many times I have come to the back door to let my dog out and it turns back to the house and says NO WAY! Not the wolves they continue to pace and enjoy the much needed bath mother nature can give them.

The alpha male and female reside together for life. Although all sorts of situations has taught us the way of the wolf, watching them born was the biggest thrill I have ever had. The litter born April 20, 2000 are now 9 and separated into pairs. There is less confrontations with each wolf living one on one. The pack had varies kennels to travel thru as I connected all the 30 x 40 feet kennels with gates. This worked fine for many years but as they grew older they no longer wanted to play the games and at times there would be 5 wolves ganging up on one. So eliminating the over bearing hunting instincts they were given companionship of one other wolf that got along with another. Keeping this order has resolved many conflicts and medical bills. Wolves play intensly and also fight to the death if driven by another wolf to anxiety. Wolves need their space.

I think one of the things humans and wolves have in common is a pecking order that prevails thru out ones time. Asher is the Alpha male and dominates the howling sessions and control all vocals of the others. If there is danger such as strangers coming to take photos, Asher gives out a howl of warning and all the others are quiet and watchful.

Mornings to live for

As the morning sun slightly teases the shell of night, we wake up to a new day without knowing what it will bring, we smile anyway.

My life has been long and weary. It is not a life that fits into a story book. The loneliness of a lone wolf is where my soul resides. I never fit in with the pack I was born into. As a young adolescent I left the security of the den and found my own pack outside the walls of the family.

In 1960 when I arrived in the USA, there was much turmoil over the color of ones skin. I had no understanding of what racism was. I learned that Jesus loves us black or white and all the shades in between. As the country struggled to survive the uncomfortable situation, Viet Nam became more of a household word.

The Beatles arrived on our doorstep in time of a new generation. Pink Floyd, Moody Blues, Neil Young soon followed.

Viet Nam would not go away. Our brothers and sisters came home in pine boxes. We lost thousands and kept sending thousands more. As children of the Moon we walked the streets, lost and thoughtful but feeding the love. We became the Love generation. So where has all the love gone?

They shot our president, they shot his brother, they shot our hope in Martin Luther King. It wasn't our fault. It was the way things were done. I could not understand.

Now its been 40 years since Woodstock in Bethlehem New York. Gosh I was there but was I? Too stoned and tripping on Window Pane I got lost in the fairytale. I just remember Jimi Hendrix waking me up.

Life has had its way, going to do some more reminiscing later!

The View Outside My Window

This fine view has kept us captivated to listen to nature and learn to live without fear of the wild instincts that dwell in us all. As life moves us to extinction, so the wolf must adjust to allow man to protect their future. As man extends his will on this earth, mother nature finds herself trapped and searching for freedom from man's cruelty and neglect.

I am wolf, I am wolfgama, caretaker of the Chapman Pack. Listen to my plea, listen to my story. Listen to your heart.

I first learned about the wolf when, as a child I was introduced to the story of Little Red Riding Hood. The fierce eyes larger than saucers, the long fangs dripping with saliva. Oh yes I was afraid of the big bad wolf. I bet you were too.

I grew up in a small town in the Netherlands. My father was the town's butcher. I was one of eight children. My Mother was at my father's side. I had a nanny for the first 7 years of my life.

We immigrated to the United States and settled down in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

We grew up in a small neighboring town and my journey was shortlived. Having the itch to expand my horizons, I traveled in my teens, many trips on the roads to see the countryside. I fit in to the hippie generation. I found a place in politics to express my views and thoughts. It led me to get energized into the women's movement. I was married, had children and got busy with my family. After 7 years of marriage, it was time to move on. Another page another story.

Howling Pines Gets A New Start

Howling Pines is a non-profit private home for the Chapman Pack. We have been busy for 11 years with our alpha male and female. I have written much about it but haven't made it public. Now is the time to explain to people that wolves can live with humans and their instincts can be saved and preserved in the wolf thru out it's life.